.l.o.v.e.

I am fortunate to share my life with the most amazing human being in the whole world. But, our circumstances are amazing as well, and I feel the need to take time to recognize him for all that he really is.

Ramis and I met and fell in love in very unlikely circumstances: I was 16 years old, overweight and insecure. He was 19 years old, well liked by his peers and incredibly well-adjusted for his age. We both met at a discount movie theater in the summer of 1996. My brother once worked there and I later started work there while Ramis was in Hawaii with his sister who had just finished 5th grade. A few weeks after I began work there and got to know his friend Eric, Ramis started work again. He was incredibly gregarious, yet with a very sharp tongue. He loved to

make people laugh and to play, yet had no hesitation with getting under the skin of the people whom he didn't respect. My first day there, I thought he was too good for me-- attractive, popular-- why would he like me? But, I played the games that he set up for me and soon became one of his few confidantes there. For some reason, he actually wanted to talk to me and walked me to my car after our evening shift. For being such a shit starter, he was an incredibly caring human being. We began to spend more time talking at work, and then before and after work, and then on our days off. He and I then became partners, a team. We were virtually inseparable within weeks of meeting one another and made an unbreakable commitment within about a month and a half. Our commitment was our marriage and it happened within 6 weeks of meeting one another. That, my friends, was OUR marriage, not the day we signed the pink slip. Yes, we were married in 1996, not 2004.

In our early years, we had our non-believers, but that didn't seem to matter. Yes, we were young and all signs pointed to a very short-lived relationship. But, the difference was that we were in a partnership, not in a relationship. We were one another's partner, not boyfriend/girlfriend. We were in it forever and we were different.

It was difficult. I had lots and lots and lots of issues and Ramis had one or two as well. It's hard to get through those issues as a young adult and still keep a partner around. There's so much transition within the formative years of young adulthood that it's no wonder that so many relationships don't work out: they're hard to overcome and sometimes it's just easier to start over and start fresh. Fortunately, I had my partner and neither of us back down or give up very easily. We fought often and we fought hard; at times, it was against one another and it was dirty, but in the end it was always a fight for us. We always won.

One amazing thing that I reflected on today was the amazing privilege that I have of sharing almost half of my life (and really ALL of my life that I'm able to remember) with the person that I love. We're coming up on 15 years together and I'm almost 31 years old. That's a lot of life that we've shared and I feel so lucky that he was at both my proms, all my graduations, all my vacations, all my high points and low points. He saw me through a transformation from a meek, undervalued, insecure teenager into an incredibly overconfident, patient mother. I saw his transition from a still adjusting, sharp tongued, short fused young man into a strong leader and mentor, an incredibly caring and thoughtful partner, and the perfect father. How many people are fortunate enough to spend even 5 minutes being completely enamored with another human being (not their child), let alone 15 whole years and counting? Not many, I must say.

I am incredibly proud of the fact that I've been able to keep this incredible person in my life for as long as he has been here. I'm surprised every day that he sticks around, because I know that at the end of the day he is the better person. I just keep working on pushing myself to be as good as he is, and I suppose that is the essence of a healthy relationship. I respect my partner so much that I see his ins and outs and strive to be as great as he is. For some reason, he keeps telling me that I'm pretty great myself (which I find hard to believe when I'm looking in HIS eyes).

After all we've been through together, there's nothing that we cannot do. There's nothing about him that I don't understand within the fabric of my being.

Many people told me that after having a child I would see her like I've never seen anyone else in my life, even my husband. I find this analogy to be essentially flawed. I see love in my child in the same exact way that I see love in my husband. I feel stitched to each one of them and feel that both Ramis and Summer carry my heart with them. Soon enough, I'll grow another heart and give it to my son.

Love is love. It is so often misunderstood and cheapened in our society. But, just like Ramis taught me so many years ago, it doesn't matter what others do because we know what's worth fighting for and living for: it's love. This is the man I love (circa 1996):