Dear Zayan

Dear Zayan,

I know you're still tiny and you cannot read this, but I want to share with you a few things that you do that are absolutely awesome and some that are not awesome. Hopefully, in sharing this with you, we can work together to improve on our challenges and work towards a better tomorrow. After all, you and I will be buddies for a very, very long time.

First of all, once you were conceived, I didn't believe you were real. Being pregnant with you didn't even make me feel pregnant. I was in denial for a good long time and it honestly felt good to forget I was pregnant every once in a while. After all, your sister was born only a year before I was pregnant with you. Thanks for making those few months for me!

However, things took a turn for the worse as your food source was giant while I was pregnant with you and it kinda got in the way. You danced on that sucker like there was no tomorrow, which subsequently sent me to the emergency room on two separate occasions, put me on bed-rest, and took me out of work 4 months premature. I'm glad you like to stretch, but the consequences kinda put both of us in a bad spot. Just sayin. I'm guessing you're going to be like me, where things just kind of happen unintentionally because you don't think of the consequences in advance. So, in the end, I totally get it. That's why you're my buddy.

Then, finally, I was taken off bed rest. The rest of the pregnancy was a breeze again (despite your huge size and the pressure it put on my newly moving back and sciatic nerve). You were born with no complications and the birth was fast and furious. No problems to speak of!

But, once you were born we learned of your old man ways: grunting and churning. You always had us awake and staring at you concerned about what was going on. We put you on acid reflux medication, regular doses of simethicone (for your ubiquitous gas), and I stopped eating practically everything because we were so concerned about you. Turns out it's dairy, or more specifically the cows milk protein, which causes the grunting. Great! Great for YOU! Because now I can't eat practically anything that is decadent or delicious. I'm glad you're not grunting, but I'm honestly happy that this breastfeeding business is only a temporary part of my life as your mother. I mean, it's cute that you like to constantly dribble all over my clothes when you nurse too, but the laundry is stacking up!

You love to be held. All we ever wanted was for Summer to stay still and cuddle, but she never ever did. And then Zayan... Zayan always wants to be held. It is one of the sweetest things you do, and it's still sweet-- even at 3am when you don't want me to put you down and I've gotten no more than an hour of sleep, I really do love that you want me to hold you all night long, but it might be safer for both of us if you wait until I've gotten a little sleep.

You happen to be one of the EASIEST babies I have ever witnessed in my life. You need so little to stay happy. All you ever seem to want is a face to share a smile with or a hug as someone carries you around. You are incredibly-- no, unbelievably easy to put to sleep. All I have to do is wrap you up and walk away and you will fall asleep just about everywhere. I remember spending hours and hours rocking Summer to sleep. So much so that your daddy and I would go in shifts! But, not Zayan! And you stay asleep through absolutely everything, which is super awesome.

When you were born you woke up every 2 hours. It sure was exhausting dealing with that in the hospital, but the nurses saw my exhaustion and relieved me from time to time from caring for you so I could sleep. You were like a clock, with the alarm going off every 2 hours on the dot. I knew it would get better in time. But, now, as you are about to turn 1/3 year old, you still wake up just as often as you did the day you were born. There has not been a single night that you have woken me out of my sleep LESS than 4 times. Sometimes it's 8 or 10, but some lucky nights it's only 4. I will likely bring this up until I am on my deathbed. You owe me lots and lots of sleep, Zayan. I won't let you forget! :)

You have the sweetest high pitch coo. It's like you're singing to me and I could talk to you all day. The coo that you do these days is a beautiful sound compared to the screeching you did as a newborn. Daddy used to say it would rattle his brains and would subsequently toss you into my arms so I could somehow quell your screams. Luckily, you stopped doing that a few weeks ago. (Phew!)

You also eat very, very frequently. I sometimes read how some other mothers only nurse their kids every 4 hours during the day and then go 8-12 hours stretches at night. Not you, my love! I'm lucky if we can go a full 2 hours, but sometimes you only can stay away from me for an hour. Fortunately, unlike many other babies, you can sometimes finish in a cool 4-5 minutes. It takes some babies months to be that efficient! It only took you weeks! Like me, though, sometimes doing things quickly doesn't exactly do yourself a favor. We should both look towards being more like daddy. If we are more thorough (i.e. feeding for longer) you can take care of yourself for longer (i.e. won't get hungry so quickly). I understand though; I'm the same way. You know you're my buddy!

So, in the end, we all know you mean no harm in the things that you do and that makes it a little less frustrating. Also, in the end, you are one of the easiest going babies out there. We are so lucky to have you in our family. You teach us to respect you and to respect the simple pleasures in our life. Some of the simple pleasures will come in due time, like sleep, but all the others you have shown us make us really appreciate what you have added to our lives and our family. Thank you for teaching us what is valuable in life and for finding the bright spot in each and every day. You are our simple pleasure.

Thanks for everything you've given us in the first tiny chunk of your life. I love you, buddy bear.

Much love,

Mommy