Just when you think you know what you're doing

It will soon be 15 years that Ramis and I have been partners. For a large chunk of that time, we were sure we would not have kids. They kind of put a damper on "living it up". No travel, no going out and living irresponsibly, and you create a situation that drains your bank account regularly. Why would anyone in their right mind have kids?

Well, Ramis has his reason for changing his mind and I had mine. Mine was this: so many years have slipped through our fingers together. We have a few photos here and there, but sometimes the memories tend to blend together just as the days often did. I wanted something that would allow me to capture the time that we spent together. I wanted to use our love for each other to spread the love to others for generations to come; something to make our time here on earth more permanent.

What did we get? Well, we do now have a way to narrowly capture events within days, months, and years. We have so many stories and they are so much deeper and have so much more meaning because they rose out of something so pure and so innocent... so perfect.

Anyway, enough of all the mushy stuff. It's hard work, this having kids business. Not only do you get way less sleep than ever before, but they BLOW YOUR MIND on a regular basis. We read, we research, we try to find the best practice that matches what is in our heart, but it is never-ending. Just when you think, "Oh, her development was lightening fast these past [insert timeframe]. It'll likely slow down and we can really work on [insert developmentally appropriate activity]." But, no,... no, no, no. Then, she throws a zinger in on you. She goes from asking "Who's that!?" to everything to, "Daddy, what are you pouring?" in what seems like a week. She goes from speaking complex sentences to making concrete connections and displays reasoning strategies in another 5 days. She is truly a dynamo.

It's not like once you've mastered one phase with one kid that it's going to be identical with the other. These kids we made are different! Zayan has been a mystery since day 1. We STILL can't figure the poor bugger out! We started him on solids and I try to feed him, but I can't figure out what his face means! Does he not like it? Is that just his "eating face"? Why is he spitting it out? Is he just trying to figure it out? A slurry of questions run through our minds with every goddamned move these kids make! It's mentally exhausting!

At the end of the day, since May of 2009, we've become better... better people, better humans, and certainly better parents. So, for the countless things that we've already given these kids, at the very least I can say they've given us a lot more... but let's not let them in on that secret until I've gotten my fair share of some guilt trips and awesomely expensive Mother's Day gifts.