Secrets Revealed

Mostly, common sense would drive an intelligent person away from trying to have children. There are countless reasons that children limit adults from living a life to its fullest. From the cost of care for a child to the loss of free time and freedom of choice… not to mention the loss of ones own self. Really, why is it that couples choose to have children?



Well, Ramis and I were on the “no child” path for many years of our years together. We found so much passion in and love in what we do as a couple that we feared that we would lose that with children. Travel is a passion that we share; not travel to resorts and timeshares, but travel to holes in the wall, dirty, and sometimes dangerous places. We would lose this with a child, and that is huge. Well, we traveled extensively, and then… and then a transformation occurs. You might call it a slip in judgment, but I feel like this slip in judgment has some sort of higher calling… unexplainable, but unmistakable.



However, now that I am 9 months in the know, I get it. I totally get it.



There are a million tangible reasons not to have children. They are clear and transparent. Perhaps good birth control for the masses (well, for those who are choosing anyway). They are true, all of these reasons. Absolutely. I never do my hair anymore. I rarely buy stuff for myself. We eat out at child-friendly restaurants if we even go out (healthful!). We rarely leave the house past dark. I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in… well, I can’t think back that far. I have to limit what I eat/drink because it might affect my child. Childcare is a greater expense than any other cost we have, minus the house. Travel is greatly more expensive and more complicated. We have to vacuum the house daily because germs could easily get on baby’s hands. Our dog can’t really eat rawhides because she’s too loud and she bangs them against the hardwood while the baby is sleeping. I could go on and on.



However, I don’t have to tell people these things for them to understand. People know. It’s common knowledge that these things are the things that we do for our children. Yes, it is rough. Yes, it is. Should we get a medal? Uh, hell no. A baby hug will suffice.



Yes, now I know the secret. And, for all those in doubt, I will clear it up. Here goes:

The reason to have children is because it is a feeling that can not be duplicated. Like my love for my beautiful husband kind of morphed and doubled into another being. It’s fresh and pure and white, white hot. Suddenly, you yourself are transformed with this love. Just pure, pure, pure, pure love. It’s big and it’s blissful.



I’ve done a lot of things in my 30 years of life. I’ve been fortunate enough to experience quite a lot, but nothing at all compares to the love I’ve experienced with both my husband and my child. I would not trade a moment with either of them for any amount of money or experience. They are my currency and my experiences in this life.



I am not a house cleaner; I’m kinda lazy about it. Just ask Ramis. But, he will also tell you that I will vacuum the house for 4 straight hours if it would make Summer giggle for just a moment. Hell, make it 6. OK. Really, there’s no limit to the vacuuming. I will do it forever for her. Anything-- anything at all. Really? After Summer goes to sleep, we watch digital videos of her during the day. We cannot get enough of her. So all those “reasons not to have children” are not reasons not to have children. They’re all a façade, but that’s OK because I figured out the secret.



Children: They turn you crazy. Crazy in love? Yes, yes they do.